All by myself

Aren't we all alone. Sometimes I feel surrounded by A LOT of people, all talking to me or with friends, but I feel like I'm in a bubble. Do they really care? Do I really care?

Beyonce "me, myself and I that's all I got". Really? I'd like to think we're all depending on each other, which I also believe in, but sometimes the world seem so cold.

In the news, people are killing each other all around the world. People are not helping starving and sick kids. Social systems are messed up and it's horrible. I wanna save the world.

A danish singer sings "we always find the answer within ourselves" I agree.. Your heart and the feeling in your stomach will reveal what you think the answer is, but it's not neccesarily what you portray.

I just finished reading a book. On of the main caracters feels alone. She wants to love someone or doesn't really know if that's what's missing? She likes being alone, but also doesn't think she'd fit in with society, cause she works with dead bodies, seeing how they died...

I clearly remember an episode of "The city" that runs on MTV with the wonderful Whitney. She's down cause of problems with the bf and Diane von Furstenberg says something like this: "the best relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself, cause you'll always have yourself" I just remember that clearly, cause that's so true!

just a thought...

Marriage

who needs it?

I know so many will disagree, but lately I've been thinking about this.

A friend of mine (he) said "We're not like girls.. We haven't thought of our wedding since we were 5 years old. I don't mind getting married, but only if she wants to" and I was like...

I've never thought of my wedding.. actually never thought it through. Only thought about Vera Wang cause I love fashion, but really... no!

I don't think I'd like to get married - at least not in a church, cause I'm not a practising christian and I think that'd be a lie to get married in a church. I'd get married in the town hall, but only because getting married has benefits concerning children, inheriting, money, house etc.

The fact that you should get married because it's practical is wrong, cause I already think you've said "i do" by being together loving each other. Of course it's easier walking away if you're not married, but still.. I thought marriage was originally was a thing God would bless you with.

I don't need that.

Maybe it has something to do with my mom and dad didn't get that big white wedding either. They got married secretely at the town hall and yeah... the thought of a big white wedding with 300 guests, fancy dinner etc. is too much attention on two people saying "i do" which you can do just the two of you.

I'd rather use all those money on a vacation with the closest or a big dance party for those 300 people and just celebrate life and love.

just a thought

Kids

So idk how many I want.. sometimes i want 2 because I feel like that's a good number, but sometimes it feels selfish thinking those thoughts. The more the merrier? Idk.

I also wanna adopt. I would adopt the first one and the second one I would give birth to. I feel like that should be the order, cause then the biological one wouldn't feel like the other one came in later. It's such weird thoughts. I like dreaming about the future, but isn't this too planned? I'm over thinking, that's it...

I talked with a friend and her family about when you should get them. Early and old has its pros and cons. I've been saying I'd wanna wait till I get my career going, but you will never have to perfect time to get a kid. Might as well get them before starting a career or education?

Also thought about getting kids "with" a sperm donor or adopting and be a single parent? I like that thought, cause who needs a man? Well I would think that would be nice, but idk if he's gonna be there when I want kids and yeah.. I'm only 17, shouldn't be thinking abou this, cause I def don't want kids now... but sometime and yeah

just a thought